Recently, Embrace The Journey, a book in which I contributed a chapter, hit Amazon’s #1 Best Seller. Prior to that release, the many authors prayed, wrote, and, in some cases, wrestled with the demons conjured by the somber memories. Amazingly, in seven short months, the book was conceived, labored, and launched. For some, it would be the first time their writing was out there for all the world to read. For me, it wasn’t just a book release, it was the moment the world would know one of my family’s intimate wounds. The raw and ugly side of our lives. Many details of the saga were truncated to stay within the maximum word count. I wanted to say more. My soul lay bare to the emotional wounds of rejection, inadequacy, and missteps. It wasn’t the hope of birthing another book, it was the hope that someone, the mom who needed to hear it, would know she wasn’t alone. God hears. God answers. God provides. Relationships heal. Eventually, perhaps, she might be the conduit for another’s healing.
Back To School
It was a Monday morning when I first saw a hint of beauty in my suffering. The halls of the Fine Arts School where my children attended buzzed with activity. A whisper sent me looking for a particular mom. She needed a friend. Her expression confirmed my suspicions as I greeted her tenderly. Lord, give me the right words. Or none. Maybe she simply wanted someone to sit with her. Silence settled between us as I settled into a chair. I touched a hand to her forearm.
“I know how you feel.”
Doubt clouded her teary eyes.
I paused, navigating my words carefully. “My daughter ran away a couple of years ago.” I hesitated, working up the courage to continue. “I didn’t know I could hurt like that.”
Her swollen eyes bore into mine. “What happened?”
Somewhere near the end, a glimmer of hope appeared in her demeanor. “I never would’ve guessed it.”
I had worked hard to hide the truth. Fear poked at my conscience. What would others think?
She opened up, sharing her experience and asking questions about mine.
“It’s not your fault.” Those were the healing words my brother had spoken to me. I hadn’t believed it at the time, but those four words switched my focus from blaming myself to searching for a way ahead. What should she do?
I reached for her hands that had clutched her knees for most of the conversation. “Can I pray for you?”
She nodded.
My Prayer
“Heavenly Father, I pray for my sweet friend. I know how difficult it is to walk in her shoes right now. Lord, I ask you to ease her burden, ease her pain. Give her peace, Lord. Keep her son safe and bring positive influences into his life. Heal their hearts and grow their relationship closer than it’s ever been. Lord, I pray that one day, she too will see Your miraculous touch in their lives and be able to minister to another mom going through something similar. May we be so in tune with You that we will be noticers of hurting people and be able to encourage and walk beside them. In Your name, I pray. Amen.”
She grabbed me with such intensity we almost fell to the floor. Sitting there in a bear hug, I knew the lessons I’d learned could not be kept to myself.
Moral of the Story
All these years later, I’m blown away that the God of the universe cared about our crisis. In every step, He was at work even when I couldn’t see it. On many levels, my young daughter’s ambition pushed her to be and do what life (and me) said she wasn’t ready for. What I now see as one of her greatest assets — a catalyst for all she works toward and accomplishes — needed to be challenged and harnessed for her launch into the world not squelched as I was inclined to do.
For the mom who may be going through a difficult time with a wayward child, be encouraged.
There. IS. Hope.
Don’t give up. Not on your child. Not on God. He is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine. Ephesians 3:20 NIV
Add your voice to the conversation in the comments. Your story might very well be what another needs to read right now. Blessings.
So beautifully written and every mom who has had to deal with this will receive hope from you!
Thank you, Cindy! Transparency is a double-edged sword. But if our story can help just one, then it’s worth it! Blessings!
I too am struggling with an adult daughter who has been missing off and on for the last 5 to 6 months. She started using ecstasy after her divorce. She dated a man who had bad influence and started acting erratic. I have let her live with me five times. She has physically tried to assault me while under the influence. It has been hard being in the phone with mobile crises, police, etc trying to get her help. Thank you fellow author of Embrace for you story. Much love Karen Davis. 💗😘🙌🙏
Thank you for sharing, Karen! The raw reality is we do the best in raising our children then they must choose their way. But God. He is our (not so) secret weapon. Heavenly Father, step into Karen’s life, protect her, and bring light to the darkness. Reveal yourself to her daughter and heal her. May You be glorified through them. Thank you, Lord, for loving each one of us right where we are. I pray your blessings over Karen and her family. In Jesus’ name. Amen. Much love!
Kelley thanks for sharing your story. I can only image what you as a mother has gone through. I don’t have the exact same story but as a mother can relate to the feelings dealing with a daughter that struggles with anxiety and depression in its worst forms. Again thank you for sharing your views, thoughts hopes and prayers.
Dianne, I appreciate your note. Parenting is definitely not for the faint at heart. If only our children came with instructions. Better yet, a cheat sheet on how to solve all their individual issues. One thing I can attest to, I’m a better person because of my experiences as a mom. I can only imagine the challenges of parenting a daughter with anxiety and depression. Remaining engaged with a listening ear and demonstrating unconditional love are my go-to pieces of advice. I’ll be praying for you and your daughter. Blessings, my friend. {BIG Hug} ~Kelley